The cemetery is the resting place of the dead. Even in pagan times, tombs were treated with reverence. One should behave with reverence in the cemetery. Idle talk, jokes, laughter, fun, music are unacceptable. People come here to commemorate the buried relatives and friends, read prayers, think about their own hour of death, tidy up the grave, plant flowers.
On days when the vowel prayer for the dead is not performed, cemeteries should not be visited. These are all Sundays, the days of the twelve holidays, on Christmastide (from 7 to 20 January), on Easter, completely on Bright Week and on some days of Holy Week. Disrespect for Christian church holidays will be cleaning the grave, installing and painting the fence on holidays and Sundays. Start your visit to the cemeteries from Radonitsa (general day of remembrance) - this is Monday or Tuesday, the 8th or 9th day after Easter.
Arriving at the cemetery, light a church candle, perform a litiya (read a special prayer or invite a priest for this). You can also read the akathist about repose. There are short and complete prayers for all occasions in the prayer book, which is sold in any church shop.
Only after that can you clean up the grave and stand silently, remembering the deceased. Obscene manifestations of grief in the cemetery are unacceptable. Moaning, sobbing, screaming, and tearing one's clothes off were characteristic of pagan rituals, when even the invitation to hired mourners was considered the norm. However, the church does not prohibit the moderate manifestation of grief. In general, at all times, Orthodox people did not associate the cemetery with a gloomy place. This was and is the place where one should come to pray for deceased relatives. This is a thought-provoking place that encourages soul-saving decisions.
There is a very pious custom to plant a grave, it is better to bring and take them with you.
The graves in the cemetery cannot be desecrated: ravage, plow open, pluck flowers from them, take away the wreaths and lamps left on the grave, and even more so turn the graves into dumps.
It is also not necessary to arrange memorial meals at the grave, these are remnants of pagan feasts. Commemoration of the deceased with kutya is allowed. The memory of the deceased is especially insulted by pouring vodka on the grave mound and leaving a glass of vodka and bread on the grave, allegedly "for the deceased." It is also unacceptable to leave sacred products (Easter eggs, Easter cake). Better to distribute food to the needy, the poor, and the begging.
